Read this, you must

Finally! Someone is bringing justice to the mail system. We love the Jedi Master! Buy some today and help defeat the dark side of the postal service....

A Partial Explanation

I want all my posts and thoughts to be positive, uplifting, words of hope and encouragement. However, at the current time I am fighting to experience these things myself. Having done all, I am standing (Eph 6:13). I just read a "Special Bulletin" by Rick Joyner that partially explains what I have been experiencing:

"Right now many see the church as being in terrible shape, in pain, writhing, and disoriented. This is pretty accurate, but why is she in that shape? It is because she is giving birth. In the stages of the birth process, she would be in "transition." In this stage, a mother is usually overly sensitive, overreacting, in confusion, and wanting to quit! This is what many Christians have likewise been feeling, but all of this will soon be over. When this stage is over, a great clarity and resolve comes upon the mother to give birth to her child, and that is coming upon the church very soon."

"The church is struggling to give birth to the last-day ministry, the ministry that will close out the church age and prepare the way for the return of the Lord and His kingdom. Change is coming. How?"

"During the "transition" stage of childbirth, the mother must fight her natural tendencies to push. To push at that time would actually be counterproductive to the birth process and would only make it more difficult and more painful. As hard as it is during times of such confusion, the best thing the mother can do is just try to rest and relax. As soon as this stage is over and the clarity comes, then it is time to push. We are about to see a major thrust forward in the very near future. A dramatic change in the resolve of the church is coming."

I've been getting words about learning to rest, and pressing into contemplative prayer more. Even this last Sunday, Billy picked up on something in the spirit and did an altar call during prophetic worship, which doesn't happen too often. He felt that many are worn out and needed to come into the rest of God. He quoted and prayed Matt 11:28-30:
"Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Then, I received an email for prayer from Heidi Baker which included what the Lord had spoken to her regarding rest, from Heb. 4:9-16. (This email was also sent out as a Special Bulletin).

So that explains what is going on, partially.

Lord, help me to find Your rest.

Tellin' the Truth

"The media's been telling everybody for months and months and months that the pro-family movement and the pro-life movement are dying.

"Well, to the media's that here, may I say, 'Welcome to the morgue. We ain't dead yet.' "

-James Dobson, 10/20/07

A Bittersweet Season

I'm going to save all the pretenses I was going to begin this blog with and just start by saying that the last few days have been rather painful for me. With a dab of humor I might call it the "Combo Platter of Pain." I know that the Lord has me in a current season of being drawn away with Him, but in the midst of it He is revealing things externally that are revealing things internally. Things are happening in the natural that I have completely no control over, but cause me to grope for God because of the pain that I am experiencing due to deep wounds that have never healed.

A few months ago, I called my pastor in relation to a particular issue, and he began to give me a prophetic word based on a dream the Lord had given him regarding me (unrelated to what I had called about). He wouldn't tell me the dream, but what he did say was this:

"Liz, the Lord is going to do an even deeper work in you regarding rejection. Oh, and regarding your future husband, don't settle for second best."

At the time, I was like "what in the world? Why and how do these two statements fit together?" I am beginning to realize in a major way that they are inexplicably linked. I really believe that the Lord is doing something in me related to both those issues right now, though neither one are resolved. What I will say is that what I am experiencing right now is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. It is funny though, the Lord is bringing joy amidst the pain and showing me how to praise Him and find Him in the middle of the storm raging in my heart. He is literally teaching me how to find solace in Him alone and that He is really all I need. So it is a Combo Platter of Pain with bittersweet chocolate chip cookies.

Brownback for Pres

I came across a transcript of an interview with the best presidential candidate out there, Senator Sam Brownback, from the Washington Post. Here are a few of his brilliant responses to questions posed from the audience:

Washington: What do you think about comments from some evangelical leaders about supporting a third-party candidate if the Republican Party nominates someone who is for abortion rights? Would you support the GOP nominee if he supported abortion rights?

Sen. Sam Brownback: To support a third party will ensure a Democrat being elected to the White House. As I said last night, I will support the party's nominee. I believe firmly that that nominee will be pro-life.
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Des Moines, Iowa: Senator Brownback, I heard over the weekend at a Life Chain that you have introduced an Ultrasound Bill in the Senate that would require abortionists to perform an ultrasound before performing an abortion. Can you discuss this and tell me more about it? Thanks!

Sen. Sam Brownback: This bill is modeled after bills introduced in Texas and other states. It's a simple requirement reflecting the significance of what happens in an abortion. Abortion is the destruction of an innocent child. What this bill simply requires is that before an abortion, the physician must do an ultrasound on the child and offer the pictures to the mother. The mother does not have to look at the pictures -- she is not required to look at them, they simply must be offered to her. It's my hope that this will increase the information available to the mother on whether or not to have an abortion. I think people who are pro-choice will say that they want to see abortions being safe, legal and rare. It would be my hope that this bill would make them rarer.
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Washington: Senator, what is your position on evolution?

Sen. Sam Brownback: I do not believe man is an accident. I believe that every single individual is a beautiful, unique child of a loving God. How God did it I don't know. That he did it I have no doubt.
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Portland, Maine: Senator Brownback, thank you for all your leadership in the United States Senate on pro-life issues, you are second the none one of the best on this issue. My question for you is this: How can the Republican Party win back many of the Social Conservatives who feel let down by the Republican Party because of lack of action on our issues?

Sen. Sam Brownback: It's important to first remember all the action that has taken place on the pro-life issues under a Republican president and Congress. Two justices on the Supreme Court who voted to uphold the partial-birth abortion ban; the partial-birth abortion ban itself only passed under a Republican Congress and Republican president. It is the first major pro-life legislation passed and found constitutional since Roe v. Wade. Also, the nation has become pro-life -- it is a majority-pro-life country now. That would not have happened without the efforts of many pro-life activists in America and a Congress willing to pursue these issues. Much more needs to be done, but we shouldn't forget that great positive steps have happened for the first time since Roe v. Wade.
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St. Louis: Senator Brownback, if elected president, what would you do to improve the United State's reputation in regards to foreign policy, especially among Middle Eastern countries? Also, what steps would you take to improve the quality of life for soldiers returning from Iraq, as well as for all veterans?

If not elected, what are the chances you run for president again in 2012? Personally, I feel like you are the only true social conservative candidate. Your passion to rebuild the family and the positive effects that will have in this country is exactly what we need out of a president. I hope if not elected, you will strongly consider running again the future. Don't give up, money is only a small obstacle one has to overcome when considering the enormous scale of positive contributions you could make to society not only now but those which will also continue in the future as president. God Bless!

Sen. Sam Brownback: I think we need to walk more humbly around the world. I think we need to engage more in Africa and South America. Particularly in Africa we are seeing growing interest and conflict with Islamic fascists, and with China resourcing materials. We need to go to those places and listen more than we talk.

With regard to veterans, I would fund veterans health care and a focus on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I believe this is a big untold problem that many of our returning military personnel are facing.

And as for 2012, I'm focused on 2008.
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Boston: Sen. Brownback, studies show that the majority of the people in Massachusetts are against homosexual marriage. However, our liberal legislature has prevented us from having our say at the ballot box. If you were elected president how would you be able to help us?

Sen. Sam Brownback: By the appointment of federal judges who are strict constructionists, who won't try to legislate from the bench. Also, I would push pro-family policies emphasizing rebuilding the family structure. For instance: Welfare reform is needed to keep from punishing the family. Right now if someone on welfare gets married, they lose most of their benefits -- that's insane. We need to encourage the family, not discourage it.
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Cedar Rapids, Iowa: Do you think it is right that the media declares that someone cannot win the election, months before the primary?

Sen. Sam Brownback: (Laughs). No, no, it's not, but it's also not historically accurate. Think Jimmy Carter.
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Now, who wouldn't vote for this man?

Wilderness Living

Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, and wall her in, so that she cannot find her paths. She will chase her lovers, but not overtake them; yes, she will seek them, but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for then it was better for me than now.' --Hosea 2:6-7

The Lord has effectively hedged up my way with thorns. I find myself in the comfort of sand and solitude in this wilderness. At IHOP, we talk a good bit about how the Lord loves to "take away all the props" and "burn the bridges." When phrases like these are mentioned I groan in pain with the thought of being alone with none of the usual comforts. Mostly, up until now, most of the pain that I've experienced in relation to the wilderness has been that of the thoughts of being alone.

I have never cherished being alone for long periods of time, mostly because I am an extrovert and enjoy being around other people. I always preferred team sports over sports that I had to rely solely on myself to bring about the winning (or losing) results. There have been times when I need to be alone just for the sake of gathering my thoughts and having a moment of peace and quiet, but soon enough I'd drift back to companionship. Maybe that is why I really enjoy community living.

The Lord has invited me once again to join Him in the wilderness. He has removed those props. The ones in which I rely on food, TV, friends, family, entertainment, shopping, drugs & alcohol (of course), and left me to turn to Him with my pain for comfort. I've realized that all my life I've turned to all these other "lesser idols" in search for the true rest and comfort that can only come from above. It is for that reason that I am still searching for healing and restoration in so many areas of my heart... I never took it to the One that can truly bring relief and healing.

In this place He is showing me that in giving up the companionship of people I am gaining friendship with Him. He is teaching me how to hear His voice, maybe for the first discernible time in my life. I am gaining things in this desolate place that I could never gain in the company of good friends and good eats.

In the end, I want it said of me:
'What did you go out into the wilderness to see?....A prophet? I say to you, more than a prophet.' --Matt. 11:7, 9

Alone

Relevant excerpts from "The Saint Must Walk Alone" by AW Tozer:

"Most of the world's greatest souls have been lonely. Loneliness seems to be one price the saint must pay for his saintliness."

"Though a man were surrounded by a vast crowd, his cross is his alone and his carrying of it marks him as a man apart. Society has turned against him; otherwise he would have no cross. No one is a friend to the man with a cross. 'They all forsook Him, and fled.'"

"The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world."

"His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his inner circle of friends there are so few who share his experiences, he is forced to walk alone."

"The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way."

On Healing...

Lately I've been chewing on the painful fact that I am not operating in the power that was promised to me in the word, specifically in Mark 16:

"And these signs will follow those who believe: in My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover." --Mark 16:17-18

I've become extremely frustrated that when I lay hands on the sick, they are not recovering (I did have that sweet kiss from heaven in Brazil when a lady's back got healed that I prayed for, but that has been it). I have been reading God's Generals slowly over the last few months. I read it mainly at night, because I love to read stories before I go to bed. It has really been messing me up. I read about these men and women and I ask "why not me, God?" I want to see healings like John G. Lake. I want to raise the dead like Smith Wigglesworth. I want to move crowds in the power of the Holy Ghost like Aimee Semple McPherson.

I am not giving up, but I am getting desperate. Then last week I picked up The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting by Mahesh Chavda again to help me during GBF. Interestingly enough, tonight I read the following:
"It is time for us to take back the territory the enemy has stolen from God's people. God wants us to dwell heart-to-heart with Him in intimate relationship and obedience to His will--exactly as Jesus prayed on the day He surrendered Himself to His accusers (see Jn. 17). When we reclaim our inheritance as the sons and daughters of God and begin to seek His face in prayer and fasting, all the miracles of the Gospels and the Book of Acts will come roaring back into the everyday existence of the Church! It is as simple as that."

It is as simple as prayer and fasting. I am doing prayer and fasting. I am not sure what I am missing, but I am hanging on, even if it is by a thread.

Food TV

I've found that I get sucked into tv easily. Partly I know it is because I am "medicating" the pain of being separated from Jesus and also feeling the weight of different injustices. Well, one channel I get sucked into easily is the Food Network. I secretly wish I was a chef. I sometimes try to make some great meals, but it is so hard, with roommates on different schedules and I don't want to cook some gourmet meal for myself. On the other hand, that kind of cooking takes time and money, neither of which I have a lot of. You have to have all these specialized cooking tools and pretty serving dishes. Not to mention the cost of good ingredients. Just today I was watching one of my favorite cooks, Giada De Laurentiis, who cooks mostly Italian dishes. The ones she made today seemed so easy, but the ingredients are like "where can I even buy those?" So, I walk away once again wishing I could just taste the wonderful things I just saw her make. Oh, the fasted life....

Random Thoughts

I haven't blogged in awhile, so before I get onto my friends who haven't blogged for awhile, I thought I would blog. I don't have anything spectacular to say really and not a lot is going on in my life. We are in the middle of GBF here, with an extra day (last Sun) added on to fast and pray for the ending of the sex slave trade.

This weekend, Bound4LIFE ATL is hosting a "retreat" of sorts. We had originally planned to rent a cabin(s) in the mountains and do a real retreat, but then we really had to change it because of our current needs. So, with that in mind we planned a retreat - at home. We are having a night of fellowship and fun on Friday and on Saturday we will have a whole day of training. It will include how to give the LIFE message, different breakout sessions, and going through the newly printed Field Guide, beautifully written by Matt Lockett and team. In fact, they will be coming down from Ft. Mill to join us in the festivities! Saturday night we are planning to have more fellowship and relaxation. We are hoping a praying that this will help build a solid core team. I am personally looking forward to the fellowship and food.