Wilderness Living

Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, and wall her in, so that she cannot find her paths. She will chase her lovers, but not overtake them; yes, she will seek them, but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for then it was better for me than now.' --Hosea 2:6-7

The Lord has effectively hedged up my way with thorns. I find myself in the comfort of sand and solitude in this wilderness. At IHOP, we talk a good bit about how the Lord loves to "take away all the props" and "burn the bridges." When phrases like these are mentioned I groan in pain with the thought of being alone with none of the usual comforts. Mostly, up until now, most of the pain that I've experienced in relation to the wilderness has been that of the thoughts of being alone.

I have never cherished being alone for long periods of time, mostly because I am an extrovert and enjoy being around other people. I always preferred team sports over sports that I had to rely solely on myself to bring about the winning (or losing) results. There have been times when I need to be alone just for the sake of gathering my thoughts and having a moment of peace and quiet, but soon enough I'd drift back to companionship. Maybe that is why I really enjoy community living.

The Lord has invited me once again to join Him in the wilderness. He has removed those props. The ones in which I rely on food, TV, friends, family, entertainment, shopping, drugs & alcohol (of course), and left me to turn to Him with my pain for comfort. I've realized that all my life I've turned to all these other "lesser idols" in search for the true rest and comfort that can only come from above. It is for that reason that I am still searching for healing and restoration in so many areas of my heart... I never took it to the One that can truly bring relief and healing.

In this place He is showing me that in giving up the companionship of people I am gaining friendship with Him. He is teaching me how to hear His voice, maybe for the first discernible time in my life. I am gaining things in this desolate place that I could never gain in the company of good friends and good eats.

In the end, I want it said of me:
'What did you go out into the wilderness to see?....A prophet? I say to you, more than a prophet.' --Matt. 11:7, 9